


we're an island

by saturnmos



Category: TWICE (Band)
Genre: F/F, Fluff and Angst, Pining, jihyo's a mom, momo's crushing hard, not literally but, samo, side jeongmi, still figuring it all out, they're babies, you get it
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2018-11-12
Updated: 2018-11-11
Packaged: 2019-08-22 11:10:05
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,628
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16596746
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/saturnmos/pseuds/saturnmos
Summary: That’s the problem with close. Momo can’t find the line in the sand. And when Sana is wrapped around her, she can’t bring herself to try.





	we're an island

**Author's Note:**

> my first contribution to samo nation. also, this is really just like, a two-part vent. (tell me to stop projecting onto my characters lol. u can’t.) part 1 is mainly just.. details but i mean would it rly be samo if it wasn’t in the details? anyways, enjoy some exposition xoxo
> 
> (sidenote: they're all college freshmen)

Momo’s laying on the couch in the living area of her dorm, not even trying to find something to watch anymore, just watching as the titles aimlessly scroll by on the screen of the TV. Mina had dragged Jeongyeon out of their room earlier, because  _it's date night, duh,_ leaving Momo alone to attempt to recover her energy after classes. 

When her phone starts vibrating where she’s set it on the table, she’s surprised that the name on the screen doesn’t belong to her mother or her big sister. Sana doesn’t usually call. 

(Her phone’s on “Do Not Disturb”, but of course, Sana is in her favorites — just in case — so it rings.)

“Hey kiddo,” Momo starts, suddenly perky. “What’s up?”

“Hey, sorry,” The girl's voice is soft. “I’m just not really up for texting, and I wanted to talk.”

”No it’s fine, you can call anytime, you know that. Is something wrong?”

“I’m just. I don’t know.”

“Sana?”

“Yeah. There’s...stuff with my mom, and we got in this huge argument, and practice was horrible this morning, so I don’t have the energy to be angry, but she just, doesn’t stop, y’know?” 

“Definitely. Do you wanna talk about it?”

“No, not really… I mean, I just really need to relax. Can I come over? For a little while?” Momo can hear that she’s exasperated, and frowns slightly. 

“Of course you can. Let me know when you get here so I can come let you up.”

Sana sighs, “Okay, awesome. I'll be there in a little bit. And Momo?”

“Yeah?”

“Thank you.”

“Just get over here. And bundle up. It’s chilly.” She hangs up with a ghost of smile on her lips. 

(Momo makes sure to queue their favorite show up to watch before she leaves the room to meet Sana on the first floor of her residence hall a few minutes later.)

When Momo unlocks the door and Sana follows her inside, the younger girl turns off the light behind them as Momo grabs the remote. Sana grabs the blanket she’s claimed as her favorite from where it’s draped on the back of a nearby chair and hugs it to her chest as she makes her way to Momo on the couch. 

“What episode are you on, now?” The older girl inquires. 

“Season three, episode...four? I think,” Sana giggles, scooting closer to Momo and spreading the blanket over their legs as Momo instinctively slides an arm around her and brings her even closer. 

Sana’s head comes to rest comfortably on Momo’s shoulder, “You’ve watched that much since last time?”

(Their little “TV dates” during downtime between classes or after the day is done have become a pleasant routine.)

“Last season’s plotline was really good!” She defends, and Momo squeezes her shoulder teasingly as she selects the episode and it begins to play. 

“You do have a point.” Momo’s hand moves on Sana’s arm, rubbing up and down, almost second nature at this point to comfort her in whatever little way she can.

She tries in vain not to let her head spin at the proximity.

Momo loves being Sana’s friend. She does. She loves that she’s found someone like her in such a short couple of months on campus. She loves their dynamic, the pure safety they’re able to find in each other in an unfamiliar place as well as the understanding they have of each other. It’s seamless, and so, so easy to be around her. To confide in her. Never would she have imagined that a shared English class would bring them so close.

But that’s the problem with close. Momo can’t find the line in the sand. And when Sana is wrapped around her, she can’t bring herself to try.

She’s tried not to question it, tried to let it be, enjoy her company without letting herself overanalyze. And she had been fine...for a couple weeks. Until Jeongyeon had well, inadvertently called her out.

(“So, I rant about Mina to you for three hours a couple nights ago, bare my soul to bring us closer as roommates, and you fail to mention you’re dating a  _ cheerleader _ ?” Jeongyeon had said, standing just inside the door to their room with her arms crossed after Momo returned from walking Sana home one night at the beginning of the semester.

It caught Momo off guard, and she had stumbled through a flustered denial. “S-Sana? No, no it’s not like that.”

“As if, Momo!” The girl had laughed, nudging her playfully, but Momo just shook her head, eyes wide. Jeongyeon tilted her head, “Oh…uhm well, you guys are just so affectionate when she’s here, I guess I just assumed.”

Momo couldn’t form words, focused on a vibration in her pocket that was most likely Sana texting to make sure she had gotten back safely.

“Oh no, I broke you didn’t I?”

“Maybe.” 

“She has no idea, huh?”

“Nope.”

“Well,” Jeongyeon clapped her on the shoulder, “if it’s any consolation, from what I’ve seen...it seems pretty mutual.”)

And maybe that’s what Momo fears the most.

As friends, it’s easier to write-off the mere  _ possibility  _ that Sana would ever want more to do with her. Labeling everything as platonic keeps her from going insane. 

Yet here she is, agonizing over it anyways. 

Because Sana’s not her girlfriend. 

Sana is her friend who Momo banters with over text until two in the morning, long after they’ve both said they were going to bed. Sana is her friend who falls asleep on her chest during movie night with Nayeon and Jihyo, snoring softly because she’s had a hard week, and should probably have stayed home like Momo told her, but she insisted. Sana is her friend who backhugs her while they stand in line to get food, using her slight height advantage to rest her cheek on the side of Momo’s head.

Sana is her friend who showed up at her door at 2 AM last month, completely freaked out, and barely changed from her cheer uniform. (Momo may have had too much to drink before the school’s big rivalry football game, and may have been paying the price for it, and it may have gotten around to Sana.) Jihyo, who had helped her back to the room as well as held her hair back, had left them alone for a few. 

Sana is her friend who sat down next to her where she laid on the couch, gently running her fingers through Momo’s hair and pushing her bangs back from her face as the older girl stumbled through some half-coherent sentences about Park Jihyo being the nicest person in the world, only second to Sana. Sana had laughed, having her sit up and drink from the water bottle on the coffee table, holding her chin and tilting the bottle for her, before she had gone to grab a washcloth from the bathroom and helped Momo take her makeup off. 

(It’s still fuzzy, but Momo thinks she told Sana she was an angel after that. The one thing she’s sure of, however, is the feeling of the lingering kiss Sana had pressed to her forehead before she left the room and Jihyo returned.)

Sana is her friend whose fingers always seem to find the spaces between hers when they’re walking down the street towards that little Thai place on the corner behind Momo’s dorm. Or when they’re lounging on a couch in the common area of the floor on game night, Sana leaning back against Momo, holding the hand draped around her shoulder. Or when they’re both tipsy, side by side, staring at the wide selection of sodas to choose from out of a gas station refrigerator. There’s no reason for their fingers to tangle together where they hang between them, but they do. Maybe that’s the best part.

She thinks she may be too used to the feeling of Sana’s hand in her own.

Because now, Momo’s other hand is occupied as well, Sana playing with her fingers where they rest on top of her stomach, and Momo feels like she could have a thousand assignments due tomorrow and still not let any of it get in her head as long as Sana’s next to her. As long as Sana’s there in her arms, smiling, glancing over at her every once in a while, she’s okay, and the rest of the universe can wait.

(Nayeon once told her it’s like they have their own little world.)

She’s gone over it a million times in her head. Finding reason upon reason to just leave it unspoken. What they have is good for both of them, she thinks. They can rely on each other, feel safe with each other, retreat to their island away from it all without it being anything more, Momo resolves.  She can survive that. 

And she  _ will  _ survive it, because if she tells Sana how she feels, how much she cares, and loses Sana, she knows she won’t.

Sana’s not her girlfriend. But Sana flirts with her, giggles when Momo shyly avoids eye-contact or feigns annoyance afterward. Sana holds her when she reaches for her, pulls her into the crook of her neck tightly. Sana skips parties to stay in with her and order Chinese. Sana talks to her, tells her things and jokes with her in ways they both know they can’t find anywhere else. Sana gravitates towards her every time they’re in the same room, slipping back into her arms and their “world” with hushed laughter over things only they know and the soft touches in between.

Sana cares about Momo, a lot, whether it’s in the way she wants her to or not.

 

And maybe that’s all she can ask for right now.

**Author's Note:**

> saturday nights by khalid is a great song. i will finish pt. 2 up soon when i'm not swamped w school. i promise my first samo work will not solely be angst. thank you for reading!
> 
> drop a comment or come say hey!  
> twitter: @jenniehirais  
> curiouscat: @saturnmos


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